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Deep Thoughts

or What the Large, Sweaty Guy at the Gym is Thinking While His Sweaty T-shirt is Stuck Over His Sweaty Head

“Well, this is just great. I really can’t move. It’d be nice if I could ask for help but I don’t know anybody in the locker room plus the level of awkwardness that would splash out if I was to request someone to come to the aid of the fat guy with no pants? Yeah. No. So, here I stand, locked into my t-shirt turban, like a life-sized Chinese finger puzzle, getting tighter every time I try to twist out of it. Is it possible to act like I’m okay with this, that I’m trying to do this, that this is part of a plan? Would anyone buy my sales job? Eh, how am I supposed to sell this when I’m standing here like one of those inflatable wiggly men in front of a car lot, flailing around, getting nowhere, just drawing attention to myself. What gripes me is coming to the gym is supposed to prevent this kind of thing from happening. You know, get in better shape, lose some weight, not sweat as much… I guess that comes later but it doesn’t help me right now. So, in the macro, I’m doing the right thing but in the micro I’m getting punished. Punished by irony. I should have spent the extra ten bucks for a Dri-Fit…”

Published inLiberty

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